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Stressed 
We all have to deal with different kinds of feelings and emotions. Sometimes we feel excited and happy. At other times we feel sad or down. There are many things in life that might make you worry, so to feel stressed, anxious, or lonely from time to time is perfectly normal. In fact, stress can be a positive and motivating force when you face challenging situations like exams, live performances, or an interview.
People have various concerns or worries, such as work, studies, family,friends and what's going wrong in the world. For most people feelings like these come and go, but sometimes feeling down or being stressed can go on for longer. During such times, everyday life can become disrupted, with normal things becoming difficult to manage.
The coping style we develop (finding ways to relax, seeking support from friends etc) can make a big difference when it comes to dealing with a crisis.
There are a lot of things that can make you feel down or stressed:- Feeling you have no-one to talk to and that no-one understands you
- Feeling responsible or guilty for someone else's behaviour
- Arguing with family and friends
- If someone close to you is ill or dies
- Worrying about how you look
- Feeling left out and not being part of the group
- Worrying about your sexuality
- Changes in your family or becoming part of a new family
- Having trouble with your boyfriend, girlfriend or a close friend
- Worrying about exams or getting disappointing results
- Making choices about the future (work, university etc)
- Being bullied at school or elsewhere
- If someone close to you moves away
- If you have have been, or are being, abused
People show they are unhappy in different ways. Maybe you recognise some of the following signs in yourself or in a friend:
- Feeling lazy, bored or tired a lot
- Arguing with friends and family, being moody, irritable or snappy
- Thinking things will never get better or feeling hopeless
- Crying a lot
- Not wanting to go out
- Feeling that no one likes you
- Eating a lot less or a lot more than usual
- Getting into trouble or stealing things
- Feeling life is not worth living
- Feeling nervous and apprehensive
Transcript of a converstion with Smu
Hi, do you want to know what I've been up to lately?
Well, over the past couple of weeks I've been really fed up. I've been tired and moody...
For instance, last week my friend Lu was annoyed with me, 'cause I didn't feel like partying with her on Saturday.
I felt I had no one to talk to and that nobody understood me.
My close friend Mie told me I was losing my marbles and to go and see a shrink, I mean a counsellor.
Let me try out on you a few questions that challenged the way I think about coping with stress.
Question: Do you think that talking about how you feel doesn't do any good and that you should just try to get on with your life?
Answer: Yes, definitely.
Response: Don't bottle things up! Try to seek out people that understand your problem. You might be surprised to find out that some of your friends have similar concerns and would be willing to share thoughts and problems with you.
Question: Do you think that being emotionally unwell is a sign of weakness?
Answer: Yes, definitely.
Response: Hmmm, you need to remind yourself that we all have our ups and downs and that It's normal for you to feel stressed, anxious, or lonely from time to time.
Question: Do you get irritable and snap at others?
Answer: Yes, definitely.
Response: OK, time out! Give yourself some breathing space. If stuff is bugging you, try to prioritise and deal with one thing at a time. Think of different approaches to your problem. Once you have a plan, you are better prepared to take the next step in the right direction - and it doesn't matter how small that step seems. If things don't go right the first time, don't give up!
Question: Do you keep your feelings to yourself?
Answer: Yes, definitely.
Response: Hey, don't be afraid to be open with others. Think of people you can trust, like your parents and friends. Involve yourself in fun group activities and don't forget to treat yourself occasionally - remember it won't necessarily cost you any money.
Question: Are you your harshest critic? When things seem to go wrong, do you automatically think that you're the one to blame?
Answer: Yes, definitely.
Response: Aw, don't forget to hold on to the good things about yourself. Keep a balanced view and bear in mind that constantly blaming yourself isn't fair on you.
Question: Do you worry about your happiness?
Answer: Yes, definitely.
Response: Hmmm, you've got to try to look at the bright side of things and all that is good in life. Make sure you have some fun and give your sense of humour a workout.
Question: Do you worry that things will never get better?
Answer: Yes, definitely.
Response: Right, since when did you become a fortune teller? How can you possibly know? Give yourself a chance to experience new positive things.
Question: Do you feel like you're at a loose end - bored and with no sense of direction?
Answer: Yes, definitely.
Response: Hey, come on you! Don't hold yourself back.Take some time to figure out what you might like to do and what your strong points are and then take the plunge! Keep your mind, body and spirit fit and healthy and don't feel frightened to ask for professional support.
Phew!!! Lots of things hey? I'm going now, take care!
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